I just saw on the news that tomorrow is World Wide Suicide Awareness so they highlighted a camp for kids whose parents have taken their life.  I also was just with my brother, aunt, cousins in Paducah, Ky for a wonderful reunion where we walked down memory lane.  We did not dwell on the painful past but rather celebrated the life stories we shared. It was good.

Somehow, just coming from there and hearing about tomorrow, it seemed fitting to share this post from a few years back because our father's suicide did impact the entire family and yet, there we were, sharing the good;  maybe there is 'hope' for someone in this 'meandering'.

I 'hope' so!

November 2015

EVERY death is difficult and carries with it emotions that no one else can feel or fathom.  Though it carries it's own unique facet, I am not going to say that losing someone to suicide is any more painful than losing someone to any other kind of death.

Grief is a personal journey. Grief hurts.

The reason I share today is because I believe being a survivor of my father's suicide allowed me to learn something that may be worth sharing:  it is vital to stay connected to some healthy source outside ourselves.

To something.

 For me, that Something is God.

Just as a fetus inside the womb is connected to the umbilical cord to receive sustenance so are we connected to more than ourselves for sustenance.

If you cut that cord, the fetus will wither away and die.

If we cut our connection, we will wither away and die.

My father did that.  He cut his connection.

My mother (who, indeed, did have her very real struggles until she died), at least, NEVER cut her connection to something outside herself....she reached out always for sustenance through groups, books, people, church, GOD.

Mother survived.

Daddy did not.

I  loved and am grateful to both my parents for their lessons of life and death.  As a child, they taught me about music and laughter and love and GOD ....

....and as an adult, they taught me what happens when we let go of those things and....

...when we hang on.

So those of you who have survived suicide, I pray that you, too, can find gratitude for the life and death lessons of your loved one.

 I honor you today and I pray that you will continue to hold on.

Just as God's child has sustenance while resting in the womb so can we have sustenance if we allow ourselves to rest in our Creators embrace....

....and then just as a babe moves through that womb and into the world, so can we move into the world where BECAUSE of the one we grieve, we can not only survive, we can LIVE...

....AND love....

....TO pass it on.